Dear Mom

 

I love you mom, but you fucked up

You should have left his ass

That miserable drunk

 

I love you mom, anyone could have seen

You facilitated his demons

Gave him the resources to be apathetic, violent, simply mean

 

I love you mom, but I think you’re a coward

Afraid of being alone

Unwilling to defend those you’ve flowered

 

I love you mom

Sometimes I just want to say

That I hate you for all the beating you let come my way

 

I love you mom, that will never change

I know life was hard for you

We shared that pain

 

I love you mom, and it hurts me to say

You fucked up because didn’t give me away

Remedies for Dark Times

In my experience, depression is often misconstrued as having a bad day, feeling a bit blue, or down in the dumps.  When I say a “bad day”, we can all relate.  Being truly depressed is in no way similar, not an iota, to a rough day, days, week.  The clique comparison to “never wanting to get out of bed” is used, and maybe for some this is true.  But when you’re locked in a listless void, your own bed is unappealing.  You feel as though you could just lay down in the mud and rot.  It’s a brutal experience, so bad death seems like a reprieve.  Continue reading

Descent

 

falling

 

On a cliff I wait

Teetering on its edge

Below dark clouds form

Insidious nebulosus harboring despair, dread

 

Perched above the stratosphere

Few choices avail

Jump or linger

Given time, gravity prevails

 

The descent will hurt

Each time is worse

I try suggested remedies

Friends, family, love, these never work

 

Impacting the dirt

The only choice will be up

Unless I take one fateful step forward

Submitting to a grave, pre-dug

 

Decaying in that hole

Perhaps I will find solace

For the dead are impassive

Mere things the earth devours